It’s 6 am. I have been awake for awhile. Today is gyno day. But before I begin this rant….
Disclaimer: If you are a man and you are reading this, you will want to scroll down immediately to the recipe part or switch recipes all together. You’ve been warned.
Now, where was I…
If you are a man and still reading this, you must be gay because no straight man would have not taken the mere mention of a woman’s rant seriously. So, welcome gay man. I love you all.
Getting back to it…
So today is gyno day and I really, really, hate going to the gyno. Ok, not as much a I hate going to the cancer doctors, but I know y’all get me on this. I mean, come on!
Who else would have invented a profession where one sticks fingers up a woman’s…well, you get it.
Guaranteeeeed it was a man. A sick one at that. So now, female kind for all eternity is stuck going to one. Just another way men have distorted the world.
Ever wonder how all the bad medical things that can happen to a woman involve a man? Think about it…
Yeah, I told you. They even must have invented the terms to constantly remind us of this fact. Guaranteeeeeed!
Here is the conversation from my last appointment:
Doctor: It’s so soon after your cancer. Why did you get pregnant if they asked you not to?
Me: Ahhhhh, cause…..well…….I was feeling frisky?
Doctor: should’t you have waited five years before getting pregnant?
Me: Seriously doc, I would be like 40 and if I am this exhausted at 33, you bet this uterus is going out of business and soon.
To make matters worse, my mom is one of them. A gyno that is, and she feels the need to constantly follow-up. Oh, I know my mom loves me, but to have to deal with two of them! I can never escape the gyno exam, never!
Ok, I feel better now. I almost forgot why you are even reading this. You must want the recipe already. I will shut up now. I’m sure the gay guy doesn’t mind. He’s all like “I know I’m gay but thank the Lord I don’t have one of those!”
OREO CHOCOLATE MOUSSE CAKE
1 1/4 c. Oreo crumbs
1/3 c. melted butter
1 1/2c. milk
2 c. Cool Whip
1 box (4 portions) chocolate Jello-pudding
1 tbsp. pure vanilla extract
FOR THE OREO TRUFFLES:
1 package Philadelphia cream cheese brick, softened
46 Oreo cookies, crushed
1 c. semi-sweet chocolate, melted
1 can whip cream
In a bowl, mix the Oreo crumbs with the melted butter and press onto the bottom and a little up the sides of a removable bottom baking dish.
In another bowl, beat milk, vanilla extract and Jello pudding until it becomes nice and thick.
Now fold in the Cool Whip.
Now pour it over the crust.
Put the cake in the fridge to firm up while you make the Oreo truffles.
Put crushed Oreo cookies in the bowl of an electric mixer. Beat the Oreo crumbs with the cream cheese. (I crush the cookies by either using a food processor or by putting the cookies in a large ziplock back, closing it well, and using a rolling pin the whack the hell out of it. It makes me feel so much better…)
Start forming the balls. You might want to spray your hands with Pam to form the balls and keep them from sticking. Place tray with the Oreo balls in the freezer until you melt the chocolate.
Heat the semi sweet chocolate either in the microwave (be careful not to over do it. Chocolate seizes up quickly, so go slowly) or on a double boiler.
Using a fork, and working quickly, roll the truffles around in the melted chocolate until completely coated. Lay on parchment paper to set.
Once chocolate is set, decorate top of the cake with the truffles and whip cream. You will not use all the truffles on the cake, so you can either serve them separately or freeze them in an air tight container with wax paper.
My family attacked this cake along with the strawberry cheesecake as I went to get my camera…